Saturday, 14 July 2012

Quote of the Week - Cheating

Many of us have been there, and most (the decent ones) regret it. Maybe you slighted someone that you were very serious with, maybe something happened between you and another BEFORE things became serious or official, or maybe you've been with someone as a rebound and felt as though THAT betrayed the person in your heart. No matter the case, I'm hoping that the majority of you feel as bad as I do for past indiscretions... Yup, I'm not perfect either, but the person whose trust I offended knows what I did. Though it doesn't make it excusable to MY mind, they were kind enough to forgive me and put the issue in the past.

Anyway, I'm writing this post because of a quote that a friend of mine 'liked' on Facebook. Here's the link and photo for those of you wondering what exactly prompted this outpouring of my feelings

Now personally I feel that the quote needs a tweak, but that's just me. I'm more of the mind that you do not love someone who you cheat on or plan to cheat on, and that if the cheating act is really all that fulfilling to you, that you should save the "I love you" for the person you risked all you had to be with for that night. I've learned over the last couple years that sex without love is something... Wrong. It becomes a mistake, and one that although you may learn from, it will also scar your heart for a very, very long time.

Now I've been the cheater, as I've said, but I've also been the 'other man' in the situation... And only in one case has that ever been something I found to be emotionally fulfilling because I knew (or was made to believe) that an emotional connection was involved and that it wasn't just something primal, and physical that drove the thoughts and actions. Looking back, that is the only incident of cheating (either a the 'other man' or the scumbag, and yeah, that's how I feel about myself when I think about my mistakes) where I do not regret my actions. I legitimately believe that there was more to our actions than just lust, and to me... Although I feel guilty as a man towards the other man as she never told him the extent that she went to expressing her desire to continue the affair, and how quickly she was ready to leave him if he should prove less satisfactory... the affair was something that meant so much more than most would see it as.

In any case, this quote really tugged at my heartstrings, or the few that I have left. I know that some of my family will read this, friends as well. If you really MUST know what exactly transpired in my past, you can ask me but that doesn't mean I'll tell, just that you may ask. I have issues trusting people right now, and because of those I may choose not to confide in you with particulars. Please do not be offended if this is the case.

Well folks, just consider that for the night... Cheating, always wrong, unless it is for LOVE, not SEX. I believe that there is a line where being true to oneself and cheating can be divided. If you love someone, but you are with another, and you 'cheat' with the person you love while intending to, and following through on your intent to leave the one that you're only otherwise lying to that -although you should come clean BEFORE you cheat- the indiscretion is morally excusable if you come clean immediately thereafter. However, if it is just sex, and you are sure of the way you feel toward every party... Well then there's the line.

I hope you've enjoyed your swim.

Joshua J. Taylor

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