Gamer Gab - Who's The Bitch Now?

In some form or another, every major game seems to have at least one. Yup, I'm talking about bitches.

You've got it Buzz!

No, I'm not talking about the "bitches and hoes" type, I man the whiners, sulkers, the guy who manages to get his panties in a bunch no matter how epic the people around him continue to be. Yes, I know these people exist in real life but my question is why, in a fantasy world where anything is possible must we always include 'the bitch'?

Let's start off with Skyrim, an obvious favourite of mine and a big winner of gaming honours. You start off being transported on a prison wagon with a headstrong rebel soldier, the leader of the Stormcloak rebellion, and a whiny, jittery little "horse thief  from Rorikstead which happens to be a pretty pathetic town anyway. He bitches and moans for the majority of the opening cinematic ultimately taking an arrow in the back as he flees from the execution area... In case you missed that, the opening cast of characters consists of:

• The Dragonborn
• A soon-to-be Stormcloak captain
• The 'true' High King of Skyrim
• A bitch

Okay, maybe that's not enough for you, maybe you say he's too small of a part to matter. Fine.

The Cousins Bellic

Yup, you know this guy and what he stands for... Nothing. He's a whiny little punk who still manages to be a leading character in a story centred around the Russian underworld of 'Liberty City'. I really shouldn't have to explain more about it but if that doesn't satisfy you, he winds up hiding in a dumpster... Yup, a dumpster. 

Finally, let's go to my favourite series in Call of Duty. Here's a couple of titles and their corresponding 'bitches'.

• Modern Warfare: Pvt. Paul Jackson (You. you happen to be ordered around and sent into the worst shit imaginable).
• World at War: Privates Chernov and Polonsky
• Modern Warfare 2: Cpl. Dunn (Just reference his entitled griping in The Pit and his freak-out during Second Sun)
• Black Ops 2: Salazar (generally a bitch) and Hudson (whining, traitor who betrays you and then tries to give you up for dead to save his own ass in the end... Oh yeah SPOILER ALERT).

Hell, in World at War your sergeants do everything BUT literally call these two out as the bitches they are. I'm not saying that war is easy on the mind, but they sure do make a decent focal point out of the two whiniest NPCs.

So folks, why do we do it? Why do we need to inject these characters into an otherwise intense storyline? Comment with your thoughts and maybe we can uncover a little piece of the gamer psyche.

Enjoy your swim!

Joshua J. Taylor

Reader Request - New Game Guide

Hey folks!

I have a question to ask of you, and it involves video gaming.

I have finally sorted out all my games, I've got my new 500GB PS3 hooked up and kicking, but I want to do something more with it. SO, I'm writing a new game guide based on requests. Now, I have a number of games already that might be suitable for having a player's guide written for them, but I'm also accepting suggestions and if I get enough recommendations I'll likely go and get the reader-picked title and write a guide or review for THAT game. Here's what I have so far I feel would suit having a guide written for them:

• Grand Theft auto 4
• Gran Turismo 5
• Skyrim, an official guide dealing with the entire storyline and general gameplay
• Fallout 3 or New Vegas
• Dead Island

Now it's not a big list I know, but most of my games are first person shooters or NFS titles that don't lend themselves well to guide or review writing so please, should you feel as though a game deserves higher recognition, comment with the game title of your choosing for the next Fishbowl 2.0 game guide / review article. Thanks!

Enjoy your swim!

Joshua J. Taylor